>Superman

My favorite 4th grader, self-nicknamed Superman, has a new topic of conversation for every visit. This is made even more impressive by the huge number of visits he makes weekly. I usually see him twice a day; once in the morning and again after lunch.

He may turn mundane into fascinating:

Superman [SM]: you have freckles.
Me: do not.
Superman: yes. I see them.
(This continues for a few minutes with me insisting that he’s crazy and I do NOT have freckles. )
He then takes a completely serious face and says,”it’s okay. You shouldn’t be ashamed. Freckles aren’t embarrassing. “
At this point we’re both laughing. He then stops abruptly, looks me dead in the eye and says, “this is not a laughing matter.” He turns on his heel and walks right out the door.

He may discuss his current illness:

SM: Maaaannnnn. My voice sounds really weird. Can you hear it? It sounds so weeeiiiiiirrrrrddd… like when you’re holding a walkie talkie? And the batteries are dead? And you know it makes that sound? That buzzing sound? Like static?

The above was then followed by a fairly accurate imitation of “walkie talkie static” that he managed to hold for approximately 14minutes. I don’t know. Maybe only a few seconds but it was one of those “need more coffee” days.

He may also ask me for whatever I happen to be eating. Almost invariably, it’s some form of chocolate. This continued up til the day he wanted my tea.

SM: Duuuude, what are you drinking? Is that hot chocolate? I want some hot chocolate. Can I have some?

Me: It’s tea. It’s delicious, and no, you can’t have some. Here. Smell (this is where I went wrong).

SM: [taking a whiff and scrunching his nose up] That smells like racoon poop!

Me: [asking the only obvious question at this point] How the heck do you know what raccoon poop smells like? Do you keep some in your pocket?!

Our conversations are almost always a different topic, and range in length from a simple few-word exchange to more than 5minutes of one-upping, teasing, or totally random statements strung together in a pseudo-coherent fashion. Regardless, I can say that he always gets me thinking. Really, what DOES raccoon poop smell like?