>Darth Vader Has Really Terrible Stock Options


This is one of those days that  reeeeaaallly wish I had had time to jot down a conversation I enjoyed with a slightly odd little 2nd grader. He is normally very quiet, and kind of crotchety. I of course like to torment him by asking lame questions like, “How’s your day going?” or, “Heeey, man. What’s up? You got something good to tell me yet?”
He speaks in 2-3 word replies, so I was flabbergasted when he walked into my room today, and said, “I work for Darth Vader.” He then continued for a good 5minutes, telling me about how “Darth Vader was sooo mad when I didn’t get him a present last year for Christmas. He just chopped my leg right off. And then he gave it back. But then he fired me.” This was all presented to me in monotone. Of Course. 
Whoa. You lost your job with Darth Vader because you forgot to get him a present? What a jerk! Well, now my little Jedi is working for Luke Skywalker, who apparently is muchmuch easier to deal with. He doesn’t require a secret santa gift exchange, and the benefits are lucrative. My Jedi states that he will never have to lose another appendage, and if he did, he would have good insurance. You know, so it won’t be a Big Deal. Just lost an arm? Whatevs. 
And, because I love it so, here is Darth After the Dentist.

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