Schnaggleteeth

I don’t recall much from the last 24 hours. What I do remember, I apparently remember incorrectly. While not exactly “Hangover 3: Schnaggleteeth”, I had a fun enough weekend to recount it here.

FS and her 2 daughters were awesome enough to drive me to Albuquerque on Sunday for dental surgery that was to happen Monday morning. We turned Sunday into “Girls Night” complete with too much food, pedicures, and the movie, Bridesmaids (which is absolutely hilarious, btw).

On Monday morning, I was taken back into the oral surgery suite, where Dr. Sparks was about to hack lots of holes in my mouth for the sake of beauty. I’ll say one time: Girls are stupid. Regardless, I’m thrilled to be getting this work done, so I was practically skipping back to the chair/iv/scalpel/other unknown torture devices. Dr. Sparks inserted my IV and gave me a mini dose of versed. I have to say, this was exciting, as it was my first drug since becoming a nurse and I was interested… from a purely clinical standpoint. 😉

I have a few memories from throughout the 4hr procedure. Once waking up yelling in pain, and Dr Sparks saying, “Hey there! Guess you woke up for that one didn’t you?” before giving me a little extra juice. I also recall asking on the progress of the surgery, and getting answers from the MD and assistants.

What I DON’T recall is a little more interesting:

After I woke up and was getting ready to stand, I couldn’t find my phone, which I had left in my lap. Dr. Sparks then informed me that I managed to eek off a text message and a phone conversation before they took my phone away. How embarrassing! They said I talked to my mom, and only this morning was I able to get from her that while I didn’t say anything totally crazy, she could tell I was feeling drunk and happy. I giggled. Anyone who has seen me with a few drinks knows that I’m a happy, giggly drunk. Apparently this is also true for Versed (which is nicknamed, “I don’t care juice” by people in the healthcare profession)

The text was to Luke and read as follows: “Holy crap dude that I am at the place I have drug nasaq…MMA”

Really? Glad I could put a little confidence in my poor husband who was 3hrs away and had to work. Sorry babe.

Anyhoo, the devil tooth has been exorcised, never to return. My gums have been “trimmed” to look more natural, and I will be missing that front devil tooth for about a week. It a great thing that I’m out of work at the moment, but I have to say I would have enjoyed the kids’ reactions to my hillbilly alter ego.

We drove the 3hrs home, where Luke was waiting. I showered, sat on the couch with him and promptly fell asleep. 2.5 hours later he dragged me to bed, where I continued a 16 hour catnap, waking every 4hrs or so to pop a pill and crash again.

I awoke this morning to a few random texts from close friends I must’ve texted after I got home, including a reply to a text I sent at 6am. I’m really surprised at how little I remember even from last night. My favorite exchange was relayed by one of the nurses:

Me (after the first dose): *giggle* “You have 2 noses”

Nurse: “Oh, really? How many eyes do I have?”

Me: “FOUR”

Nurse: “Very good! Now how many mouths do I have?”

Me: [still giggling] “Two pretty ones!”