>I had a first grader come in with a little sore in her R ear. Of course, she’s digging around in there making it bleed. The first thing I said, “Seriously? You’re picking at it, of COURSE it’s bleeding!” went in one ear and out the other… figuratively speaking (as her finger was blocking the way). She pulls her finger out and then immediately puts it back in. This goes on for a few rounds. It’s like there’s a rare earth magnet in her head instead of a brain.
Me: Really. Do you see what you’re doing right now? You just stuck your finger right back in your ear!! What did I JUST say??
Peanut: I have a sore in my ear. Right here. You see? It’s bleeding… right…. HERE [sticks finger back in ear]!
Me: [I’m pretty sure she’s not doing this just to push me over the edge] Go wash your hands. I’m putting a bandaid in there just so you won’t touch.
[she’s watching me open the bandaid]
Peanut: …. You’re funny.
Me: [trying not to be funny] You think it’s funny when I’m mad and bossy?
Peanut: … well…. It’s only because you don’t really mean it.
Well folks, I’ve been found out. Or more likely, she’s the reason I get about 800 visits a day from her classroom. I think she’s ratting me out to her buddies. Maybe I need to get a little, oh, I dunno. Meaner? Madder? Bossier? Sneakier? I could move my office into the storage closet and force the teachers to bring the kids blindfolded. Too much?