>A little chipmunk came into my office and sobbed, “IWASOUTSIDEIWASPLAYINGWITHMYFRIENDSANDABALLHITMYFACE!!” Of course, her cute little button nose is entirely intact.
I get her to show it to me and say the magic words: “I’m the nurse and it looks like you’re going to be okay.” When paired with a convincing nod, this statement goes a looong way. She seemed unsure, but began to nod with me. I can imagine her hypnotized child brain to be saying, “yes… YES! I AM going to be okay. Whew.”
I also stumbled upon a fabulous new medical test. We nurses all know Macburney’s point, the battle sign, and Homan’s sign- there are about a bazillion of them. The faker test is remarkably easy. All it takes is a smile on your part, and a light fingertip tap to the tip of the nose. A kiddo with a malingering ailment or an invisible injury will smile- a full dimpled, snaggle-toothed, nose crinkling smile.
The bonus is an immediate attitude adjustment for both parties. As far as I can tell, it works almost every time. I’ll be experimenting and publishing my results in the near future. Wish me luck!
Minor Emergencies 